Quantcast
Channel: Deadat30 » Bars
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 2

1KG Chicken Parmigiana Challenge

0
0

“Hey there, can I please get a kilo of chicken and a pint of tap water please?”, the first words to utter out of my mouth at the Carine Tavern last Wednesday. Words, which within two hours I would massively regret. Welcome to the Carine Tavern’s 1kg chicken parmigiana challenge…

Basically the rules are simple, eat the mammoth meal and you will have earned legend status a around the local area. In contrast to the simplicity of the rules, the challenge is a literal mouthful! I was going there giving myself a 50/50 chance, foolishly not knowing exactly how much a kilo of chicken was. The bar girl soon filled me in with a few statistics that quickly crushed my spirit and made my stomach shrivel up just at the thought of it. First off, she mentioned that it was made up of four regular parmigianas, two big fistfuls of chips and some salad just so you didn’t look like a complete fat slob. Then she mentioned that the success rate of completing the challenge was about one in every 15 customers. This is where the alarm bells really went off for me, because I was well aware that the only people mad enough to attempt this were obviously serious eaters. And if only one in 15 serious eaters walked away with a crown atop their head, I knew the reality was that only one in every 100 average joe’s like myself would manage to defeat the chicken. Anywho we wandered over to find a table and digress and discuss tactics.

Ideas that were bantered about included eating as much as possible in the first 20 minutes and then pick away at the rest, stand up or stay seated, the tortoise approach (slow and steady), finding a blender and making a smoothie out of it, or just keep taking bathroom breaks between parmy’s and relieving yourself to make room for the next portion. I chose the former of the strategies. I was going to go hard out of the blocks and eventually run out of gas (definitely not literally) and hope there was nothing left on the plate. Now, ‘plate’ really was the wrong word here, as we soon turned around to see the feast that was coming towards us on a mini banquet platter.

Game time! Admittedly defeated prior to starting, there was nothing left to do but tuck in. And initially I ploughed, like a greyhound hunting that rabbit, I feasted and had wolfed down one parmy in four minutes. Wait a second, was I a chance? One parmy per five minutes and I’ll have this challenge done and dusted within 20 minutes with a few chips and lettuce leaves to smash down as dessert. Foolish! I reached the 10 minute mark, and I was down one and a half parmy’s, a handful of chips and obviously hadn’t touched the salad. 20 minutes came around, and I was onto the third cheese and sauce splattered piece of chicken.

Start & Finish. As you can see, the plate is about two knife lengths wide!

Start & Finish. As you can see, the plate is about two knife lengths wide!

Time and available stomach size were taking their toll and slowing me down, however I refused to stop and soon launched the tactic of never letting my mouth get empty as I would start to attack the salad. The mastication rate was grinding to a halt and after 45 minutes I was done. I slumped back down in my chair and the dining tray looked down on the failure that I was. The remains on the plate were that you would get at a pub on a standard parmy and chips night. However I had at least cleaned up the rabbit food and taken away the green portion of the plate, making the effort look somewhat respectable.

A big shout out and kudos to the staff at the Carine Tavern for their snickering encouragement and the fellow onlookers wishing us all the best. All in all, a failure, but it was a good laugh and I have learned my lesson for next time… Come back when I’m as round as I am tall.

The post 1KG Chicken Parmigiana Challenge appeared first on Deadat30.


Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 2

Latest Images

Trending Articles





Latest Images